Some days fall rapidly upon one another, tomorrow is three weeks since my #NewBoyfriend closed on his new house. I’m watching him painting his walls with #OopsPaint from #HomeDepot right now. I am often dizzy rn, so I’m doing little except resting in a chair running my fingers around the mobile world.
Some days I just wish that I could tell someone what I want done and they would just make it happen for me. Yet, then I look around and see so many other-people-me’s already out there doing what I want to happen.
I get to listen to music, smoke a joint and watch my #NewBoyfriend #OopsPaint his new crib. Maybe, I’ll take the rest of the curtain rods out of the wall for him. Oh, does this reminds me of my first marriage … is this what life on earth is really like? #sameness #routine #expectation or are people just really that “the same” and I really AM an alien?
I just want a conversation with a reality I want to participate in creating, and everything is just so mean, violent and trying to win and being successful has nothing to do with any of that in my head.
Sometimes I wonder what life I was born to breathe if not this one, and why isn’t it easier to manage in my head?