i wonder about the kiss

i do wonder about the kiss, mostly.  i wonder if i will learn to crave it in the time i’ve have for this relationship to develop.  i can see how it could develop, yet, i am wholly unsure if it will because i feel so much is held back, and i know i won’t be satisfied for long if that keeps up at this level.

new relationships.  this one is now just over 7 weeks and we’ve only had like 6 or 7  days without physical intimacy (not bad for having a new partner who is 30 years my senior, i would say).  i do think about that age difference, i must say.  i wonder if that thought will go away?  i mean, does it bother me, really?  no.  i don’t care, i love being and exploring with this person who is here, and i know that i have an opportunity to not do it as well, and i decide i want to every time.

i do think, like my former husband, my new man’s comfort zone will not fully embrace me at my core, yet i feel he loves my core enough to get close as possible without fully committing to that connection.  I am happy to explore that aspect of what i feel is the way our relationship is stalled from the outset.  i do get tired rejecting his degradation of what he sees as my “potential” when he’s been in my home exactly two times, both barely inside my entry way.  =)  life is good, he’s a smart, intelligent, thinking man, so I expect to enjoy our friendship for long.  his love is real, that much i do know.  =)